“Call My Name”

Sharing my thoughts on working fifteen years with my carer, Albert from Ghana 🇬🇭 , and what it means to me. 15 November 2022.

IMAGE DESCRIPTION 1: Photo from 9 December 2019 of Sulaiman (a wholeheartedly Disabled AF and British-Pakistani man) sitting in his power wheelchair in his room next to his carer Albert (a tall, badass Black man from Ghana, West Africa) after a night on the town. Sulaiman is wearing his bright rainbow-coloured jacket and Albert is wearing a faux black leather jacket. They’re both smiling and are joyful. DESCRIPTION ENDS.

This is Albert, my carer from Ghana. Fifteen years ago today (at 08:00 on Thursday, 15th November 2007), he was my very 1st carer (technically Support Worker) on the very 1st day of my care package, and Albert still works with me to this day, now as team leader. YES, he’s that good!

Over the years, Albert has been there for me in good times and bad in more ways than I can count. He is ever ready with a “how can I help?” and “can-do” attitude to facilitate my needs as I want to live my life, unlike previous carers (and like several of my current carers) who are often rigid in attitude and want things their way rather than doing things as I wish as a 37 years young man with total mental capacity. Albert has always been (and from day one) consistently reliable, punctual, loving, kind, caring, supportive, compassionate, friendly, honest, confidence-building, and firm with me when I need a kick, as well as taught me so much about Africa and Ghana. He always treats me with dignity and respect and looks after my human rights. In short, Albert is an extraordinary and fantastic carer!

In a society where Disabled people are being pushed to breaking point and treated like disposable, unvalued citizens (I’m no exception), which the pandemic has amplified, I’m lucky and blessed to have Albert in my life. Every Disabled person needs an Albert in their life.

Also, below are fifteen things Albert has taught me (as a wholeheartedly Disabled AF and British-Pakistani man) over the years. In no particular order:

1. Anyone can be a carer, but not everyone can care.

2. Communication is critical.

3. Support, kindness, care, compassion, safety, dignity, and respect are critical when caring for someone in the community.

4. If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one will do it.

5. Spreading your kindness like confetti is not dependent on external factors.

6. When often facing “Forced Intimacy” (as defined by Mia Mingus), it is vital to push back against oppressive systems for your lifelong, holistic wellbeing.

7. Independence and love in care is a necessity, not a luxury, and must be unconventional, unfiltered, and uninhabited. I can’t ever achieve anything or look this good without support, and that’s okay – infinite interdependence is my way in my life.

8. Humour and wit can transform lives and help life be more beautiful.

9. Courage, even when afraid, is never a bad thing. Sometimes you have to do what is right, never what is easy, and sometimes you need people to give you some tough love to tell you what is required, not what you want (and you always should be that kin to others).

10. Whether by blood or by bond, family is everything. Kinship serves me well

11. “Access Intimacy” (as defined by Mia Mingus) is possible daily with everyday interactions, and you don’t have to be Disabled to share or receive this.

12. We must always live wholeheartedly (Soma, Bodymind, and all: living in our divinity as whole and complete moons – craters, scars, flaws, farts, and all) and radically to not be mediocre (or put up with mediocrity); our ancestors and descendants demand it of us, they deserve it of us.

13. Even in a global pandemic, having constancy over time for lasting trust is possible.

14. We must feel pride in and embrace our cultures.

15. There’s always a way to do anything with interdependence and love – it’s sacred and magical – community care and collective healing are vital for radical and collective liberation.

And here are some cheeky photos of Albert and me that I totally love: from 2017 enjoying the sunshine in Epping Forest, and my absolute favourite photos (and memories) from 2016 when Albert took me to the beach, and we enjoyed the sea after I said I love the ocean and the beach!

IMAGE DESCRIPTION 2: A collage of four photos of Sulaiman (a wholeheartedly Disabled AF and South Asian man) and Albert (a Black man from Ghana). There’s a photo of Sulaiman and Albert wearing sunglasses, enjoying sunny weather in Epping Forrest on the bottom left quadrant. Then there are various photos of Sulaiman and Albert swimming in the ocean at Hailing Island in the top left quadrant and the top and bottom right quadrants. DESCRIPTION ENDS.

Thank you, Albert, for an incredible fifteen years and endless love, support, kindness, care, compassion, safety, dignity, respect, and friendship. You’re the best (and a wonderful human). I’m forever grateful, honoured, and blessed to have you in my life.

Here’s to lots more adventures together for many more years to come! Stay safe (and joyful), and speak soon. X

Auntie Octavia E. Butler said it best: “All that you touch, You Change. All that you Change, Changes you. The only lasting truth Is change…”

IMAGE DESCRIPTION 3: Bold, wild, fearless existence. Photo from 30 May 2021 of Sulaiman (a wholeheartedly Disabled AF and British-Pakistani man) sitting in his power wheelchair in his bed in his room next to his carer Albert (a tall, badass Black man from Ghana, West Africa). Sulaiman is wearing his pink t-shirt, his blue-purple shorts with a floral print (showing his cheeky Crip/Wild/Sexy AF legs, his woolly socks (as his feet are always cold since he has shit blood circulation), and his Adidas NMD-CS1 trainers. Albert is wearing total Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) that includes a face mask, blue latex gloves a blue uniform (with a short-sleeved shirt and matching trousers), and black Nike trainers. They’re smiling (albeit Albert under his mask) and joyful.

Onwards and upwards.

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Currently listening to “Call My Name” by JP Cooper.